I’m convinced that after having a fourth or fifth child exhaustion kicks in and a person’s long-term memory ceases to function properly. I’ve become victim to this and I’ve started taking very detailed notes during meetings. If my brain won’t store the information, something else needs to. As I take notes, I also write down questions that pop into my head about the notes I’m writing down. For example, “What does this mean?” or “Why do we do it this way?” Often these questions are really broad and understood by picking up context as the speaker continues or are answered outright later in the meeting.
I’m glad that my notes are personal because the number of times is write “wtf is this?!” Next to things Is a little absurd - I tend to ask a lot clarifying questions heh
Two things that I do - and I also mentor younger folks on - never say “I have a stupid question...” ask the question but labeling as a “stupid question” doesn’t actually do anything for you or the responder. Saying like “I have a question, it might be a little basic but I want to be sure I’m thinking about this right...” takes an extra 2 seconds but casts the entire conversation in a different light.
The other is a thing you said you did, but glazed over--stating your understanding and asking if it’s correct. Then you don’t even need to ask the “stupid” question, just be like, “so we keep saying x, and I’m taking that to mean Y, is that right?” Helps focus and drive the conversation.
That being said, I’m not above saying “I have a silly question and I would really appreciate if you would humor me...” from time to time, against my own advice :-)
I've been guilty of not asking questions, I would think this is stupid to ask and would waste everyone's time. But once you are on the other side of the table you realize there's no stupid question and it's better if people ask and clarify their missing gaps earlier, rather than go and do things with wrong assumptions.